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Saturday, September 9, 2017

The Weekend That Wasn't

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The Labor Day holiday weekend wasn't much of a holiday for me.  I was still having severe stomach issues even though I finished all my medication for the UTI.  (See Genitalia - Oh How It Intimidates - Let's Take a Peek At This Strange Phenomenon)

I was waiting for the Gastro to get information from the previous gastro regarding the last colonoscopy I had less than a year ago while an inpatient. (See The Time-Censored Light Switch)  I had to switch doctors due to a change in insurance.  I called on Friday and the nurse called me back saying they didn't get all the information needed.  Of course, it was the day before a three-day holiday weekend. I never got a another return call.  

picture taken by me of the dogs playing in the yard.  The darker Chiweenie is my Lucy's brother visiting to play.

I suffered all weekend. Saturday I was home all day in bad pain.  I had to cancel the dog's vet appointment because I couldn't leave the house.

I did not go to a family gathering in Queens on Sunday.  It's just too much.  Nevermind the stomach issues, what about the allergy issues and the mystery illness.  Everyone else can be normal.  Normal people shower, dress, make a dish in advance or bake in advance, pack up, remember a sweater, and drive to Queens.  Not me. 
  • I have to cook and pack up all my own food. I need to make sure I bring enough in case of any kind of emergency or delay.  Everyone else can eat anything, I can't eat at all.  
  • We once got a bad flat years ago when I was a kid with a car full of people on the way to Queens.  Four adults, six kids and a dog in my dad's station wagon. We were on the side of the road for a long time.  Back then, my Uncle was able to give my cousin and I money (we were in elementary school) and we went into a hospital that was on the service road in Queens to buy cigarettes from a vending machine!  YUP, Imagine that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
  • Another time we got stuck for hours due to an accident.  Mom handed out snacks (she always kept snacks and drinks in case of an emergency).  Today, I'd just starve for hours unless I had my own food with me.   
  • I can't bring a dish because although I'm an excellent cook and love to cook, I can't cook normally these days.  No one wants to eat bland chicken.  
  • I can't bake even though I was an avid baker back in the day. 
  • So... we would need to either order food to bring or stop at a bakery and buy something. 
  • I can't walk into a bakery, therefore, I'd have to rely on someone else to pick out something. 
  • I don't drive on highways, so I'm at the mercy of others.  I also have horrific anxiety in cars, even when someone else is driving.  (See What Is Gephyrophobia?)
  • My husband can't drive, not that it would make a difference - see above. 
If I were to get to Queens after all of the above.
  • I need to worry about whether I can go indoors to use a bathroom.  Are they heating up food that will cause an allergy attack in the basement kitchen?
  • If I go into one Aunt's house, did she cook anything that will cause an allergy/asthma attack?
  • If I go up three flights to my other Aunt's house, did SHE cook aything that will cause an allergy/asthma attack?
  • If I have an attack, will I wind up in a hospital far from home with doctors and medical staff who don't know my history? 
  • What about chemicals.  Did they clean bathrooms with bleach?  Did anyone clean their homes with bleach?  Did they use any type of drain declogger?  (See 10 Ways I Survived the Bathroom Fiasco)
  • If I start to feel horrible, will I have to suffer through until the people we drove with are ready to leave or will I have to make someone leave early to take me home? 
  • Will I get terrible bouts of needing the bathroom for hours on end (no fun when you are home, even worse at a family gathering)
Pic taken by my sister in Queens

Needless to say, it's too much for me to go.  I feel like I'm a burden on everyone and if I have a problem, I'll ruin the party.  Never mind, possibly having an attack and winding up in a hospital.  

All of the above is very real worries because it's all happened way too many times.  It happened in June right in my own (the home I live in but it was mom's side of the house) kitchen/backyard.  (See But It's JUST... - Part 1 of Series)


Monday I still felt horrible. I love to go to the Portuguese Club with my sister and brother-in-law and parents.  Instead, Monday too was spent at home. It was gorgeous out but I didn't do much at all. I missed seeing the Portuguese dancers I love so much and visiting (See I Survived The Night!)

All of the above causes severe anxiety and sometimes a bit of sadness.  I LOVE family gatherings and not being able to attend is upsetting.  Not feeling well physically also makes you feel worse and have more anxiety.  More anxiety makes you feel worse physically.  And round and round we go. 

CLICK VIDEO

I finally felt a bit better by Wednesday and I was able to make the annual back-to-school family breakfast at BLD's.  Of course, I had to bring my own food.  (See Foods And Drinks That Originated In Or Are Associated With New York Part 2)

I have to count my blessings, look at the pros.  (See Pros And Cons)  The weekend may not have been, but I got to see family (parents, sisters, nephew, cousins, my daughter, friends) for breakfast.  

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