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To follow my story: (See Someone Asked Me Today How I Deal With...)
I had a conversation with someone (we will leave it at that) and we disagreed on the topic. There was no fight, no one is mad, we simply don't agree.
So... I'm wondering what others think out of curiosity.
I will give you a hypothetical (it's similar to the situation, but not exact).
Let's call the person Marie. Marie's uncle is in his late 70's and very sick in the hospital, in fact they are not sure if he will pull through.
Marie, "I'm going to try to reach my aunt again after dinner."
Me, "Maybe you should call another family member, rather than your aunt, I'm sure she's crazed right now and exhausted, due to both worry and running back and forth to the hospital."
Marie, "Well it would be rude not to call my aunt."
Me, "Really, why? I'm sure she will be told you called."
This is my take on things. From personal experience, when I was in the hospital one of MANY times for various issues, this particular time with a really bad and painful cellulitis in my leg, I was so sick and in so much pain, I didn't want to be bothered. This was before the day of the cell phone.
They had me on morphine through my IV, wouldn't allow me out of bed, had my leg raised up on some contraption and I was getting IV antibiotics.
Now... anyone who has ever been in a hospital knows you get NO rest. As a nurse once told me, "You aren't here to rest, you are here for us to make you better." (See In The ER Again - This One Is A Doozy!)
I remember one day vividly. I couldn't sleep all night, even with the morphine.
- When I did finally doze a bit, they came in to take my vitals.
- Then someone came to take my blood not too long after.
- Next the nurses changed shifts so there was noise and chatter from the hallway.
- Early that morning one of the doctors from infectious disease came in to see me. I was in a teaching hospital (Stony Brook University) and so he came with students. Oh joy. I was being nice and allowed the students. And so... what would have been a normal doctor visit lasted MUCH longer.
- The lady came in to clean my room. She was friendly but I wasn't in the mood to chat.
- Then an aide came in and decided it was time to wash me up and help me change into clean clothing (hospital gowns and hospital sock - yes sock - only one one foot.)
- The hospital phone rang. Hospital phones have the absolute most HORRENDOUS RING on the planet for the record.
- I twist, stretch and gasp and finally reach the phone. It's my parents. Ok, fine.
- I try to doze. They come in with breakfast. GRRRRRRRRRRRR I want to hit someone in the head with the tray at this point.
- I try to doze again. Some old lady, about 125 years old, starts screaming bloody murder. They were trying to change her robe, I know, I heard the whole thing, VERY CLEARLY. You would have sworn five doctors were holding her down and ten nurses were stabbing her to death. This went on a good 15 minutes or more. Yes, I was on the geriatric floor, oh how thrilling, because they had no beds, the hospital was packed, so I was the lucky one and got put there. Fun, fun, fun.
- Ahhh, peace. Wrong. The horrendous phone rings. It's an Aunt. I tell her my whole sordid tale. We hang up.
- The horrendous phone rings five minutes later. It's a girl from work. After I went back to work, she told me what I told her. We had a good laugh. Apparently I told her some crazy story - I was beyond tired and drugged. Who knows what I said to the Aunt. I am told I did get some information correct.
- Horrendous phone again. Another Aunt. Then again, a cousin. Again, another woman from work. Again and again and again and again.
- I ask the nurse to turn my phone off please. She can't do that. GRRRRRRRRRRRR
EVERYONE is "busy". If you want to see someone, do something, you will, period, the end.